Lately I have been walking in Joseph’s shoes.
I too came to be a stranger in a strange land
through circumstances not completely of my
choosing
making the best of the cards dealt to me by life
and hoping God had a plan.
I couldn’t quite see it
but I was being shown a clear path to follow
And so I followed
Joseph becomes a leader because he has an outside(r)
perspective
and unique skills
and a vision
for how to make the best of a
precarious future
He is revered by many for his wisdom
but he is also not always loved for it.
Joseph remains foreigner
even as a man of power and privilege
He remains
at arms length
from those he leads
hiding
his true self from them
and maybe becoming
disconnected
from his own authenticity
without
even realizing
Until life (God?) suddenly
sends
his path back the way he came
Homeward
Back to family
with all the complexity
with all the love
with all the uncertainty
with all the destiny
that family entails
Joseph’s shoes fit me a little too comfortably of late.
I know the blessings and burden of wisdom and vision
The loneliness of leadership
The ache of being far from family
eased by making chosen family for myself
over time
The sweetness of hellos and the
sting
of goodbyes
I know what it is to have many homes
To have my feet in one place and my heart
in another
To code-switch on a layover
To find the once-familiar suddenly strange
Joseph dies in a foreign land
But not me – Not yet
I am being called home.
One foot points excited forward, tapping
impatiently. Ready.
The other foot drags, reluctant.
Will they remember to bring my bones back to this place;
to lay me to rest in the hot African sand?
Will I dream of ancient mountains and awaken
to fresh snow?
Will I be remembered for my dreams
or only for my strangeness?
Somewhere God
pointing the path
Is the only One who knows.
