Elul I: Meiatz'mo
From his own self he learned Torah
This is what they say of Abraham,
of how he learned a thing that did not yet exist
in the world
I can learn this way too
by tuning in to myself
by listening deeply
by trusting the Still Small Voice within
Kol d’mama daka
This kind of learning is intuitive
comes with emotional growth
and lived experience
you have to have wisdom to hear your own
wisdom
you have to trust it
And I do
You have created me to evolve
to stretch uncomfortably until I can flex
with ease
This may be a season of learning
supplemented by texts, ancient and new;
supported by the voices of my Sages,
my Teachers, my Friends
But the texts I need most right now
are the ones I carry within
I already have everything I need
There is work to be done
There is regret to confront
and errors to face up to
I must examine myself and determine
what needs to change
And
what needs to not change
The Torah of the past cannot answer these questions
It can guide
It can suggest
But ultimately those answers are contained only within
my own Torah
within the Torah of me
From her own self she learned Torah
From her own self
she learned
