The Torah speaks
of brothers reconciling
But can I be reconciled unto myself?
What is the secret?
Jacob
hides
everything that is dear to him
across a river
before confronting his demons.
He protects them
but is himself injured,
and his fraternal reconciliation is
brief;
incomplete
But Joseph gets it right.
He reveals himself
to his brothers
He weeps openly
He keeps nothing hidden
at the end.
And
he extends a compassion
we might not think they deserve
(we who are not always compassionate towards brothers)
He says:
You did not send me here.
He lays the blame
(the credit?)
at God’s majestic feet
So the lesson
then
if I am to be reconciled unto myself
is to begin with revelation
To see myself
To keep nothing hidden
To risk what feels vulnerable
To weep openly
even in the face of those who once
mocked me
And
to find compassion
within myself
for myself
To rise above
indignation
I did not land myself here
It was God who sent me
out into this life;
this sometimes harsh and unfair world
to struggle and survive
To pull myself
from the lowest of places, up
up to the highest
(if I can)
To be a leader
To guide my brothers
and sisters
whether they are going down to Egypt
or coming out again
I forge ahead
sometimes slogging ahead, back bent
sometimes head held high
but forging ahead nonetheless
So that I can shine the light back
That is what it means
to be Chosen
One has to choose
to accept that princehood comes with a
price
That redemption comes
hand in hand
with revelation
I can choose to see myself
I can choose to embrace
what has hurt me
and name it as a blessing
and demand blessings of it in return
That is the secret
of which Torah speaks
EKG’17?