Elul: Do

This year I’m a little resentful of Elul
It shows up demanding spiritual discipline
          Drop everything! Begin T’shuva! it declares
But I am not ready
I am very, very not ready
I am exhausted.
          Relaxing summers are for children and the retired
          (and I suppose, the wealthy)
There are sermons to write and laundry to do and a suitcase
(yes, another suitcase!)
to pack
Weddings to attend,
a long drive ahead (and back)
A family to love and struggle with
School to begin, services to prepare,
a community to lead day-to-day
          It feel’s like madness.
Elul asks me to be calm;
to look inward; to reflect; to apologize; to forgive
But I am not ready
I am very, very not ready
I am exhausted.
          Breathe.
          It’s only Day 1
          There’s time yet
Do the things that need to get done;
Create the space that needs to be made;
Go and come back;
Clean house;
Breathe.
Do.
And then,
          maybe,
we’ll be ready.

-EKG'14